Don't miss your life.

Two post in one day? I know what your thinking, sorry I am horrible at keeping up on this but the last post and this one are two very different things and I didn't want to spoil it by adding this random one on to it!

Anyway. New favorite song, Don't miss your life, by Phil Vasser I cried.
 You probably will too. Enjoy!

Muchness

There came a point somewhere in my life when I woke up one day and I felt as if something was missing. It wasn't until I was out of my funk, happily married, and saw Alice in Wonderland when I found the perfect way of describing what I felt I had lost in those darker days of my life. My Muchness. yes Muchness.
 I felt as if I was just living day in and day out. And some days I still feel that way. I had felt as if I had lost my spunk, I had been so emotionally numbed to things that life didn't seem as mysterious or fun as it was before.
 I met Farmer and that funk seemed to go away. I slowly found myself and what I enjoyed doing again. Farmer and I recently purchased a store. A shop more so. I work full time at the eye clinic then enjoy my hair doing on the side, and my mom and I are slowing opening the front part with all sorts of trinkets and things that make people happy. I love to shop at small town stores and browse.

I named my store Muchness, because I felt at a point in my life I had lost it, and with my store and my life now, I feel I have found it again. Muchness. Muchness. Muchness. People tease at the name and think its silly, but when you dissect Alice and Wonderland there are so many good to live by quotes in that movie, that Muchness finally filled that empty spot I so desperately wanted to have a title to.

 I lost who I was and what I wanted in life and my happiness, and now I have found it again. My Muchness, I hope to never lose it again.

Soo I haven't been on here in a long time. I will admit with the busy fall, holidays, and starting the new job I haven't really found time to do this often! I promise to update you soon with an amazing blog. :) Hope everyone has been doing great. Life on our farm has been busy, obviously. The new job is great and we bought a shop and remodeled it so I am now doing some hair on the side! That's all I have time to update you on for now!! Check ya later!

Mission Accomplished

Beautiful right?
You probably think Farmer is driving and I am just taking pictures?
Well.
You're wrong.
Yup, that's right, I am driving that bad boy.
All-by-myself!
I think I passed the official Farmer's Wife test.
Granted I left early to go get my hair done, may not have helped me.
But that is besides the point.
I still drove a tractor, mowed cornstalks, && didn't wreck it, hit anything or blow anything up.
Mission accomplished.
Pretty proud.

Things I knew...

In a world so full of hopelessness it is nice to have

 someone

who has hope in you. <3

Farmer has been the biggest blessing in my entire life, I truly look back and wonder what life was like without him. It seems so unreal that I went so long without knowing him, I feel as if it's been forever. We do have our ups and down, but when it comes down to it, we would be lost without each other.


Farmer:
Almost 3 years have pasted since you walked into that bar, &&
I knew from the first night we talked, I was a goner.
I knew I had found the one, the second night you came to that bar, when you said my name and flashed that croooked smile.
I knew the first time we kissed, that it would be our last first kiss.
I knew the first time you called me just to see how my day was, that you were forever going to be a gentleman.
I knew, I first time I slipped on the ice, and you caught me, that our lives would forever be full of laughter.
I knew, when you put your arm around me, that you loved me too.
I knew,when you first hugged me, that I never again would have to be scared.
I knew when I first cried to you, that you would forever take care of me.
I knew when you went to Arizona for those long 4 days, that I never wanted the thought of not being with you in my mind ever again.
I knew by the way you introduced me to your friends that you were a gonner too.
I knew that first time out with you, that you cared for me, and didn't care who knew it.
I knew when you said " I love you", that you meant it, and I did too.
I knew when you told me you were a little light headed in the jewlery store, that life would forever be fun.
I knew the first time I couldn't get ahold of you, that I never wanted to lose you.
I knew when you asked my dad for my hand, that he had found someone to take care of me that he trusted.  
I knew when I walked down the asile, that I was going to be happy forever.
I knew when I put the truck in the ditch, that you were most concered about me, not the truck.
I knew when you held Ellie, that you were going to be an amazing dad someday.
I knew by the way you called me just to make sure I am ok, that you would always make time for me.
I knew alot of things about you Farmer, what
I didn't know is how I could ever love you as much you love me, I guess I know now, and its so easy.

Happy 1 year Farmer. I am sure you will find ways to show me more things I know about you, in the many many years to come.

Then

Now

Then

Now

Farmer is such a charmer,

So strong

irreplaceable

caring

concerned

always looking out for what's best

smart

hard working

goofy

warm hearted

All your life you dream of who you will be with forever,

and when I finally met him,

he was sooo much more than

I ever thought I was even looking for.

Describing the love between

 Farmer and I is like describing how

 water tastes;

 completely impossible.

That crooked grin has made me laugh:

 more times than I can count

Seriously:

 made for each other

<3



What happen to staying little?

This is Jordan. Ain't she cute?

I started watching Jordan and her siblings when I was 16

She used to tell me she never wanted to grow up

&& that she wanted to stay little forever.

She used to hold my hand when we crossed the street,

&& want to wear makeup for fun.

We used to watch High School Musical together,

&& make up silly dances.

She used to ride the lawn mower around the yard && pretend she was driving.

She used to sit on my lap, && tell me boys were gross,

&& comfort me about breakups.

Then she started liking boys,

&& stopped holding my hand,

&& stopped needing a babysitter.

She got even more pretty,

&& started going on dates,

&& wearing makeup all the time,

I have shed a tear or 2 watching her grow.

Now she goes to dances for real,

&& I started comforting her about breakups.

&& as of last week, she drives, not just the lawn mower.

&& now SHE'S 16

Happy 16th Birthday Jordan.

What happen to staying little?

Randomness, yes, it is a word.

A while ago I mention Farmer and I were contemplating some life decisions, well I have switched my career focus of hair to be a side/fun job and I accepted a new job at Family Eye Care Center in a neighboring town. The pay is worth it and I think the stress of my student loans hanging over my head will be minimized. If I can just get those darn things paid off the fastest way possible life would be much more enjoyable. (by several hundreds of dollars a month!) :) I am enjoying my new job, there is a lot to do, and a lot more to the job than I had imagined which is good, I would rather be busy than bored!

Its homecoming week at the high school which means stress levels are extra high, and the girls have yet to kill each other over some dumb homecoming drama! After this week, cheerleading is all down hill, not to mention I should be receiving my paycheck soon, which always comes just when I need the answer to "why do I do this again?"

Flash back to Game night a NM homecoming tradition, we were bond girls class of 007! 

Holy blonde hair! :S

Fall is also in basically full swing, Farmer comes home a little later each night, and leaves a little earlier each morning. I am looking for list of things to do around the house to keep me busy and my mind off the fact that I am alone. I still have 2 weddings to attend so I am plenty busy with showers, bachelorette parties etc..  I have decided with marrying a farmer that my love love love fall relationship has now become a love-hate relationship! I love the weather and the clothes, and the smells and the lattes and, well you get the picture. I hate it because I have no one to enjoy it with because the fields and manure have taken my husbands attention. I need a good hobby!! :) 
Sorry for the randomness of this blog! Enjoy fall!