Mission Accomplished

Beautiful right?
You probably think Farmer is driving and I am just taking pictures?
Well.
You're wrong.
Yup, that's right, I am driving that bad boy.
All-by-myself!
I think I passed the official Farmer's Wife test.
Granted I left early to go get my hair done, may not have helped me.
But that is besides the point.
I still drove a tractor, mowed cornstalks, && didn't wreck it, hit anything or blow anything up.
Mission accomplished.
Pretty proud.

Things I knew...

In a world so full of hopelessness it is nice to have

 someone

who has hope in you. <3

Farmer has been the biggest blessing in my entire life, I truly look back and wonder what life was like without him. It seems so unreal that I went so long without knowing him, I feel as if it's been forever. We do have our ups and down, but when it comes down to it, we would be lost without each other.


Farmer:
Almost 3 years have pasted since you walked into that bar, &&
I knew from the first night we talked, I was a goner.
I knew I had found the one, the second night you came to that bar, when you said my name and flashed that croooked smile.
I knew the first time we kissed, that it would be our last first kiss.
I knew the first time you called me just to see how my day was, that you were forever going to be a gentleman.
I knew, I first time I slipped on the ice, and you caught me, that our lives would forever be full of laughter.
I knew, when you put your arm around me, that you loved me too.
I knew,when you first hugged me, that I never again would have to be scared.
I knew when I first cried to you, that you would forever take care of me.
I knew when you went to Arizona for those long 4 days, that I never wanted the thought of not being with you in my mind ever again.
I knew by the way you introduced me to your friends that you were a gonner too.
I knew that first time out with you, that you cared for me, and didn't care who knew it.
I knew when you said " I love you", that you meant it, and I did too.
I knew when you told me you were a little light headed in the jewlery store, that life would forever be fun.
I knew the first time I couldn't get ahold of you, that I never wanted to lose you.
I knew when you asked my dad for my hand, that he had found someone to take care of me that he trusted.  
I knew when I walked down the asile, that I was going to be happy forever.
I knew when I put the truck in the ditch, that you were most concered about me, not the truck.
I knew when you held Ellie, that you were going to be an amazing dad someday.
I knew by the way you called me just to make sure I am ok, that you would always make time for me.
I knew alot of things about you Farmer, what
I didn't know is how I could ever love you as much you love me, I guess I know now, and its so easy.

Happy 1 year Farmer. I am sure you will find ways to show me more things I know about you, in the many many years to come.

Then

Now

Then

Now

Farmer is such a charmer,

So strong

irreplaceable

caring

concerned

always looking out for what's best

smart

hard working

goofy

warm hearted

All your life you dream of who you will be with forever,

and when I finally met him,

he was sooo much more than

I ever thought I was even looking for.

Describing the love between

 Farmer and I is like describing how

 water tastes;

 completely impossible.

That crooked grin has made me laugh:

 more times than I can count

Seriously:

 made for each other

<3



What happen to staying little?

This is Jordan. Ain't she cute?

I started watching Jordan and her siblings when I was 16

She used to tell me she never wanted to grow up

&& that she wanted to stay little forever.

She used to hold my hand when we crossed the street,

&& want to wear makeup for fun.

We used to watch High School Musical together,

&& make up silly dances.

She used to ride the lawn mower around the yard && pretend she was driving.

She used to sit on my lap, && tell me boys were gross,

&& comfort me about breakups.

Then she started liking boys,

&& stopped holding my hand,

&& stopped needing a babysitter.

She got even more pretty,

&& started going on dates,

&& wearing makeup all the time,

I have shed a tear or 2 watching her grow.

Now she goes to dances for real,

&& I started comforting her about breakups.

&& as of last week, she drives, not just the lawn mower.

&& now SHE'S 16

Happy 16th Birthday Jordan.

What happen to staying little?

Randomness, yes, it is a word.

A while ago I mention Farmer and I were contemplating some life decisions, well I have switched my career focus of hair to be a side/fun job and I accepted a new job at Family Eye Care Center in a neighboring town. The pay is worth it and I think the stress of my student loans hanging over my head will be minimized. If I can just get those darn things paid off the fastest way possible life would be much more enjoyable. (by several hundreds of dollars a month!) :) I am enjoying my new job, there is a lot to do, and a lot more to the job than I had imagined which is good, I would rather be busy than bored!

Its homecoming week at the high school which means stress levels are extra high, and the girls have yet to kill each other over some dumb homecoming drama! After this week, cheerleading is all down hill, not to mention I should be receiving my paycheck soon, which always comes just when I need the answer to "why do I do this again?"

Flash back to Game night a NM homecoming tradition, we were bond girls class of 007! 

Holy blonde hair! :S

Fall is also in basically full swing, Farmer comes home a little later each night, and leaves a little earlier each morning. I am looking for list of things to do around the house to keep me busy and my mind off the fact that I am alone. I still have 2 weddings to attend so I am plenty busy with showers, bachelorette parties etc..  I have decided with marrying a farmer that my love love love fall relationship has now become a love-hate relationship! I love the weather and the clothes, and the smells and the lattes and, well you get the picture. I hate it because I have no one to enjoy it with because the fields and manure have taken my husbands attention. I need a good hobby!! :) 
Sorry for the randomness of this blog! Enjoy fall!

Paying Hobby

Well the days of summer are coming to an end, which means slowly farmer is coming home later and later. For the past 4 years I have found a paying job hobby, that keeps me on my toes during the fall. I have coached my old high school football cheerleaders and loved it. My mom was my coach and I loved cheerleading in school, something about the feel of the air on a Friday morning and the cool breeze Friday night still gets my heart fluttering today. I didn't really know my purpose when I first started coaching but I now know that the big man upstairs knew I would need some form of entertainment to keep my mind busy in the fall while I temporarily become a widow.

The girls are doing wonderful this year. I have 8 varsity girls and 4 Jv girls who are learning well. The girls are so fun, keeps me young to be around them, I love hearing all the latest talk, and them being so hyper and goofy. It reminds me why things that happen in high school need to stay in high school because life is so much bigger than most of the girls problems. I like to think that the girls love to cheer and that I am making some sort of a difference in their lives. I love my job, even though it is stressful at times, and can be very frustrating.

Adorable right?

I love my job, and the girls are all such great persons, I love to see how they interact and deal with situations, I love all their different personalities. Most of all I love them, for making me laugh,  keeping my mind of Farmer being gone.....

and well..... for being typical high school girls! 

Days like these....

Went to snuggle my niece today, makes life seem so simple and peaceful knowing that just by patting her back I made her life easy. If only this was true for all things in life.

One Special K

Always happy, worried, and talking.
Complimenting my pretty dresses on Sunday.
Taking me to Wal-Mart to get my pictures taken, every time I was with her.
Humming that same "tune" while pushing me ever-so-slowly through Wal-Mart.
Promising me a dollar, for a home run in little league.
Standing proudly on the pew next to her during hymns.
Hearing her voice first at family gatherings.
Hearing her prayers at the reunions.
Her back tickles to put me asleep.
Singing in the van.
Taking an hour to drive across town.
Seeing her silloute at every event I ever was in.
Rounding that same familiar corner hill, at the Fair and seeing her in her chair outside the camper.
Seeing her snoozing on the grounds at a "show".
Seeing her snoozing, waiting up for me after the concerts at the fair.
Listening to her scoldings about the rules of the Fair.
Kissing her rough cheek goodbye every time I left her, & getting lipstick on mine.
Being the only Granddaughter, and K, and taking full advantage of it.
Getting a birthday card every year, with a reminder verse in it. Knowing she thoughtfully hand picked it.
Licking the tops of the pudding containers because it would be a shame to leave any left over.
Staying at her house, thinking she would stay awake all night to do dishes.
Watching her carefully open every gift and examine it, and thank you personally at Christmas.
Watching her proudly stand with her Grand kids every Christmas for that one picture.
Laughing thankfully at her "thoughtful" Christmas gifts.
Never getting that pair of Jellies from her.
Hearing her proudly tell everyone, about her 5 J's & her one special K.
Seeing her suffer but always keep a faith.
Saying goodbye several times, only for her to pull through again.
Feeling reliefe that she can be pain free and meet Jesus
Watching her make her goals each year.
Sitting on my Father's lap & completely losing myself as if I was 3 and had skinned my knee.
Watching my two brothers sob at her funeral.
Hearing my brother Jesse speak, only to have wished to tell her how much he loved her, at her funeral.
Singing "in the Garden" with my brother at her funeral.
Trying to hold in tears, to be "strong".
Watching Grandpa try to hide his tears for his LOVE of 61 years.
The smell of the rose from her casket.
Being 22 and just now losing a grandparent. 

This past week, I said goodbye to my Father's Mother, Grandma Joan.
These are things I will never forget about her.

I could go on and on, but describing the things a grandparent has done in your life is nearly impossible. Some of my earliest memories are of me going to church with Grandma. I give her allot of credit for my first interest in a faith and belief in God. I have almost been too busy to really sit down and think about her not being around, until I started writing this post. My Grandparents have been married 61 years, every year they camp at the Iowa State Fair. She passed the first day they got there, in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She wouldn't have wanted it any other way. This weekend I will head to the fair as I do every year, I will walk impatiently down that ruggegedd dirt path to their camper and it will hit me like a ton of bricks that she won't be sitting there, watching people pass, waiting for us. We sang " In the Garden" at the funeral, sitting between my 2 sobbing brothers, we mumbled the words, and my mind wondered to her and Jesus, whom her life was built around, walking in the garden. God bless you Grandma, I will miss you more and more everyday, until we meet again. I will always be that one Special K.

Grandma Joan and I

Grandma's
5 Grandson's & 1 Granddaughter && (Jason, Jaroed, Jeff, Josh, Jesse, Kelsey...hence the special K)
5 Great Granddaughters & 1 Great Grandson. (Sydney, Jordyn, Peyton, Paige, Ellie, Mason) They kinda messed up the J and K thing! ;)

Ellie Jean

The morning of Friday July 29 started like any other, I got up, dressed, and headed to work. I had a few clients, and got a strange text from my brother.

The text? "Having baby today"

Holy cow. As they just barely finished remodeling their upstairs master bedroom and the nursery is freshly painted, and my brother just put the crib together the night before, I was panicking.

 They went in for a ultrasound to see if the baby had turned from the breech position, and well the doctor said lets just have a baby today so there won't be any more worry.
So at 2:48 pm via c-section Elizabeth Jean graced us with her prescence screaming her head off, just like we wanted :)

She weighed 6 lbs 11.6 oz and was 18 1/4 inches long. Dark hair and blue eyes. She is perfect and it was the best surprise, seeing my brother in his scrubs walking with the nurses and the baby down the hallway, when we asked Pink or Blue? He gave us the thumbs up and said "we got pink!"

 Tears were shed from everyone and we all were a ball of butter!
I think someone could have gotten away with murder and I would have said "awww how sweet"
I am in love and so is farmer! :) We are all so blessed with such a sweet, HEALTHY, baby girl.

Ellie Jean you have stolen my heart! <3

While we're still young....

I haven't blogged for a while. I apologize, really I do. Fall is coming, and we have weddings galore, I am in 3 and we have 4 to attend. Which means showers, bach parties also. I am looking forward to them! I love weddings. Also It's getting closer to the time when Farmer is busy busy busy and I am back to doing things on my own for a while. My brother's wife is due any day and we are just bubbling with anticipation to meet that little one, I can't wait to not have to have an excuse to cuddle a baby all day long :) We have State Fair coming up which is always my favorite place to be :) We also have a Young Farmer's Conference in Omaha we are attending to hopefully brighten our future as building farmers, we're also making a mini-vacation out of it. It will be nice to relax together before Farmer gets busy and we temporarily "forget" we live in the same house. I/ we have been contemplating some major life decisions lately, I have been seeking advice and praying about what decision to make. I found a song and a quote that I found some peace in.

I will write again soon! Hopefully with fun updates on all the things we have to cram into the next month or two! :)

Exciting weekend....

Many exciting things happened over the weekend,

I got to hold my newest baby girl cousin, (which doesn't help my fever) and her mother is looking fabulous!

We had our first official ER visit as a married couple. One of the first lessons Farmer taught me was always cut away from yourself, 10 stitches on his leg later, you would think he would have followed his own advice.

A dear friend got hitched, she was beautiful, and her husband flipped her on their first dance. I was so impressed Farmer and I are going to start practicing, (he is not aware of this yet, I am sure it will go over great!)

She was lovely. :)

There must me something in the water because my other dear dear friend Phyllis got engaged the very next morning and I am soooo very happy for her. She is so deserving of this and it's been a long time coming! I can't wait to dance and get silly at yet another wedding :)

Won't they make beautiful babies? :)

Also my poor little hometown was hit by a small tornado this week. Thankfully no one was hurt and only a few buildings were damaged. Many trees were down and some power was out do to limbs on lines and leaning power lines. From what I had heard the town, (as always), pulled together and had alot of it cleaned up by the afternoon! Ya for small town love! <3

Like My Mother Does, I Love You This Big!

I am completely addicted to listen to the American Idol winner and runner-ups new singles!

1. They are both country singin' people! ya!
2. Lauren and Scotty are adorable! I love them!!
3. Their songs have amazing meaning behind them and in my life, the words are exactly true!

" I Love You This Big" by Scotty is amazing, I think of my husband, I think of future children, I think of my mom.

When I was young that was "our thing" I love you this big, (then I would stretch my arms out as far as I could) then she would say, I love you thiiiisss big, (then she would do the same with her arms) then I would say, I love you (insert cute toddler voice and slurs) alllll the wayyyy arrrrounnnnddd the world a millllon timmmesss!!!! Ending with a huge hug! :D Which leads me to want to listen to Lauren's song, "Like My Mother Does" which of course reminds me of my mom, but also makes me think of my future children (God Willing) with all the hopes that they will always look to me as an example in their little lives, and will always be ok in following my footsteps of life! :) ENJOY!

I promise I will try to find better pictures of her pretty cute little self!

I love you mom :)

Back and Fourth

So if you are newly married, you may have heard the following question, 9685470156301189 times,

"SOOO When are you gonna have babies!?!?!"

 annoying right? HA! Well yes, technically I do think about babies alot, only because everyone and their dog is pregnant! I swear everywhere we go I see at least 10000000 people who are pregnant or have a kid with them. I know what you're thinking, "well duh, that's what people do, we reproduce." well is it so bad that maybe I want a baby, someday, but maybe I like waiting, and don't want one right now? Don't get me wrong, things welll happen, and if it happened we would obviously be ok and ready for one, but for right now my mind kinda goes like this.......

Aww, ya that looks fun!



o ya, nope, I'm out.

now that is what I want

o right, they cry, never mind.

Isn't that a beautiful thing?

then they do this,

and this

and this, in the middle of Wal-mart, ya, I don't think so

Ok so those may be extreme mind sets but I can't help it, I know some of you may be thinking well it's a wonderful thing, and I know it is and I really can't wait but for now I go back and fourth every other day and the little things change my mind, yes in the end I will want a kid, just not now,

until tomorrow,

then I will want one again, until I see one crying or a tired parent,

 I like sleep

 and sleeping babies

and clean hands, and things that can go to the bathroom by themselves and don't need changed,

but diapers are cute on their little bottoms,

they can't walk,

but when they do it's so cute,

but they smell,

sooo good :)

and they cry

but their pouty face is so cute,

and they cuddle,

when they're sick and then I get sick,

but then they want their mommy,

and I will want mine,

then Farmer will come home,

and they will jump in his arms,

and yell "daddy's home!"

ok so my heart just melted.... a little..

Future life? Ok. I am ok with moments like these

(now your heart melted)

My main man?

Well since the weather has been beautiful I have been more active outside:
 jog down our dirt road
ride the fourwheeler to the hog building to the burn pile with trash
bike ride
pick up sticks
walk the calves (more like calf Huston is the only one that will cooperate for me to put the halter on)
mow the lawn
relax in our hammock
and many more random outdoor activities

while I do all of these I can always rely on my main "man" to be right there by my side. Nope it's not farmer, it is our beloved Golden Retriever Cash. He is loyal by my side through thick and thin,
He loves to jog with me, he loves the calves, he like to race on the fourwheeler, and is always cautious when I mow the lawn (if I stop for even one min he is right there making sure things are ok!)
I never have to use a leash and he listens pretty well once he is calmed down from the excitement of being let out to run!

Cash was my first valentines gift from Farmer! I immediately fell in love with his Big Brown Eyes, and we have been besties every since! I think I would be lost without him always on my heels!

I <3 those brown eyes

pshhh and Farmer tries to "pretend" he doesn't like him! HA!

My baby now :)

Cash always seems to knows what I need, He knows when I need a friend, someone to vent to, or just someone to keep me company on a breezy day. He is the best listener and never tells any secrets! I would truly be lost without him.