did you miss me?
I know I know.
I'm not even going to apologize for not being here. I had my reasons and that's that, but thanks to a good friend, I've been encouraged to try again. But this time. I'm just going to be me. Not that I wasn't before but I tended to blog about the things I thought people would want me to blog about, not that I didn't enjoy blogging about those things but they weren't really what was up.
So here's to a new start. Most likely I will not follow up on how things went or events or milestones on my child in order. I am just going to be much like the real me. All over the place. So....
All aboard the hot mess express. WHOOT WHOOT.
Welcome
Let me try to recap a little.
Tripp is now 21 months? (yes I had to count.) I usually just say he will be 2 in September.
I left my job in November, and just cut hair 2 days week.
Adjusting to staying at home has reopened some old personal wounds of mine but I am slowly working through them, although I would rather cover them up, talking about them has helped in more ways than one.
Farmer and I are still married, and doing the married thing yet adjusting still to me being home.
Staying at home is a great blessing though I struggle to see that sometimes.
I miss being social during the week, but I love and cherish my time with my little one.
Tripp is a hoot. I laugh all the time at him. Farmer is way more fun with him too now that's he's a little older.
I tried to garden, the best thing I have grown is radishes and grass. My tomatoes are still up to debate and my beans and cantaloupe seeds got mixed so that's a hot mess. I am on my second round of peppers and cucumbers because the first ones just plain didn't grow and the new ones aren't looking so hot. (pepper pun intended) but that grass.... o ya I nailed it!
I've watched over the past year or so, loved ones: get married, get pregnant, try to make babies, fall in love, become bitter, lose contact, get skinny, gain weight, start dating, become jealous, become even more fake, become distant, and reconnect. Basically this past year has been a whirlwind of emotions and I am going to blame age and the natural process in which growing up has become.
A few weekends ago I took a long journey by myself, as Farmer was stuck at home working, and my mom and Farmer watched the little, to celebrate a good friend's wedding. I had plenty of time to do some thinking and lot of great catch up conversations that led to a good conclusion.
People change and grow, and that's ok.
Its ok to not agree with everyone and everything. Its ok to be a little different.
But most importantly, hence the blogging again. I was told I am honest, and I appreciated that.
Being honest means to have honest people in you life too. I want to be real, honest, and up front about all my life experiences, and share them with people, because even though we don't think it or want to admit it, most likely your loved ones or those who you care for, are going through, have been through, or know exactly what your talking about.
Why do we have to have this picture in our heads ( I think small towns make it worse) that we have to be The Brady Bunch, or The Walton's, or The Cleaver's. We may strive for that but instead we've become The Stepford Wives, in having to know everyone and everything that's going on. I am not saying from here on out I am going to 180 it and be different, because yes I enjoy local conversations, and shopping and fashion and fun things but I am just saying I am going to strive to still do the things I enjoy, the way I want to.
So here I am.
Same me just more real. Raw and honest.
Thank you dear friends for opening my mind to writing again. I've missed it.
